I Am Not There
by Pricilla Grey
Summary: If Piper had spoken at Prue's funeral, what would she have said?


**_I am not there_**

I do not own charmed, if I did, Kyle and Andy would not have died and there would be no Power of Three! Can anyone say, Power of Four? I also do not own the poem, 'I am not there'.

Piper clung to Leo tightly as she heard the Wiccan Priestess calling her name to speak. Leo squeezed her hand tightly but she barely felt it. She turned to see Phoebe practically attached to Cole, she knew that Phoebe's tearstained, red and puffy face matched her own. As she slowly walked up the steps to the wooden lectern, she forgot her surroundings. Suddenly she wasn't at Prue's funeral; there were no people around her. It was just her talking to her big sister, saying goodbye.

"I never thought this day was come." She let out a laugh, but it ended up sounding like a muffled sob. "This wasn't how it was meant to be. We were meant to live forever. You, Pheebs and me. We were gonna grow old together, in the Manor with a thousand cats." She half smiled, tears streaming down her face. "Even after we became-" She stopped. Suddenly realising that she wasn't alone, people were around her. People who couldn't know they were witches. "Even after we became adults, it was always mean to be us. Nothing was supposed to tear as apart." Piper, again coming out of her trance, locked eyes with Phoebe. "You were our big sister, Prue. You always took care of us. You put us before everything. You made sure we were safe and always protected." Piper's face changed, a far-off look overtook her eyes. "I remember…"

**_Flashback_**

**Eight year-old Piper ran into Prue's room, hesitating at her door for a second, before running in.**

"**Prue." She whispered, sniffing slightly. She tried again, louder this time. "Prue I'm scared." Prue woke up. It took her a few seconds to take in her surroundings, but as soon as she was properly awake, she pulled Piper into her arms.**

"**What's a-a-" she yawned, "A matter baby-girl?" She wiped Piper's tears from her cheeks.**

"**I had a bad dream." Piper sniffed again, tears threatening to spill down her face.**

"**Aww, it's ok sweetie, I'm here." Piper nodded slightly, the tears stopped. "Do you wanna tell me about it?" Piper quickly shook head.**

"**I…I just wanna stay with you." Prue smiled down at her younger sister.**

"**Ok baby, get in." Piper hopped up on Prue's bed and curled up in her arms.**

"**Prue?" Prue looked into her little sisters' big brown eyes. So innocent.**

"**What is it baby?" Piper looked scared again.**

"**What if I have another bad dream?" Prue tired to reassure the frightened little girl.**

"**Well, I'm here. I'll be with you." Piper seemed to accept that answer and nodded again, lay down and closed her eyes.**

"**Love you Prue." Prue lay down as well, tiredness almost overcoming her. **

"**You too Piper, forever and always." Prue planted a kiss on Piper's forehead. "I'll always protect you my baby-girl. Always." **

**_End Flashback_**

Piper shook her head, her sobs had subsided and only silent tears fell down her face. "She was the only person that has always been their for me. She was always so protective. Especially during high school…"

**_Flashback_**

**Piper's eyes were facing down to the floor; she's tried so hard to look pretty for the dance. She'd gotten Prue and Phoebe to help with her make-up and hair; Grams had brought her a beautiful dress, everything was meant to be perfect. Of course she couldn't disguise her braces and glasses, but that didn't mean that she couldn't be beautiful, just for one night. Was that to much to ask?**

"**Lookie here girls, nerdy Halliwell thinks that by dressing-up, she can hide her ugliness." Missy Campbell and her cronies burst out laughing. _I won't cry, I won't cry._**

"**I…" She tried to answer Missy, but her words didn't seem to go from her brain to her mouth. Her lip trembled and she couldn't keep the tears from falling.**

"**Aww, poor Halliwell, she's gonna cry." Again, Missy's cheerleading crony's cackled with laughter. "I don't know how you're related to Prue." Missy said with disgust. "She's so cool and pretty. You, you're a nerdy nobody!" Piper turned around to run away, but someone was blocking her. Prue pulled her into a hug. Anger, radiating from her body. Missy looked slightly scared at the fury coming from Prue. She stopped laughing.**

"**Missy! If you ever make fun of my sister again, I'm going to make the rest of your High School days hell!" Missy shrugged, looking smaller than usual. "Get the hell out of my sight and go ruin someone else's night!" Missy and the other blonde bimbo's (A/N no offence to blondes!) practically ran away. Piper clung to Prue tighter.**

"**So-sorry!" She sobbed. "I'm, so. Sor-sorry!" Prue looked confused. **

"**What are you sorry about Piper?" Piper took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes. She looked up at Prue, her tears slowly subsiding.**

"**For being like this." Prue, still confused, frowned.**

"**Being like what baby?" Piper sniffed, feeling like a little girl again.**

"**Geeky. Ugly. Needing you to rescue me."**

"**Oh Piper!" Prue hugged Piper closer, trying to squeeze out her pain. She pushed her back gently, so she could look directly into her eyes.**

"**You're smart, not geeky. I want to rescue you, as your big sister, it's my job!" That statement got Piper to smile. "Well, you being ugly…that's just ridicules. D'you think Mom is ugly?" Piper looked shocked.**

"**Mom? No! She was beautiful." Prue nodded; a smile on her face.**

"**Exactly. You look just like her." It was Piper's turn to look confused.**

"**I do? Really?" Prue nodded.**

"**Really," she confirmed. Piper let out a genuine grin, so infectious, that Prue grinned right back.**

"**Thank you Prue." Prue squeezed her hand. **

"**Anytime baby-girl. Anytime." **

_**End Flashback**_

Piper sighed with the memory, before carrying on her talk. "Even when we had fights, I knew you always loved me. You had that look in your eyes, even when you were mad; you had that fierce glare of love." Piper turned left and looked at the picture of Prue, surrounded by candles. "You were always so full of life, energetic, the first one up and the last one down. You were and still are, my big sister. I'll love you always Prue, forever and always.

Her eyes locked with Phoebe again, this time they shared a half smile.

Piper looked down at the wooden lectern and picked up the bit of paper that she had found all those years ago.

"I remember, on the anniversary of Mom's death, I found a poem with Prue. We read it together and I've kept it all these years. It's called 'I am not there'. It's by Mary Frye." Phoebe looked confused, this was something that neither Piper nor Prue had told her about. She knew the nightmare story, it had happened to her. She knew about Missy, the net day she'd given Missy a bloody nose. But a poem just between Piper and Prue? She looked up at Piper and prepared to listen.

"Do not stand at my grave and weep  
I am not there; I do not sleep.  
I am a thousand winds that blow,  
I am the diamond glints on snow,  
I am the sun on ripened grain,  
I am the gentle autumn rain.  
When you awaken in the morning's hush  
I am the swift uplifting rush  
Of quiet birds in circled flight.  
I am the soft stars that shine at night."

Piper paused and wiped away her tears that had, again, started to fall. She looked up and saw that everyone was captivated by her words. Prue would have liked her to read their poem. She knew it. She could feel it.

"Do not stand at my grave and cry." She bit back a sob.

"I am not there. I did not die." She looked up and closed her eyes. She could feel Prue's presence. She swore she heard a faint, 'Thank you.'

"Anytime Prue. Anytime."


End file.
